Feathers, tattoos, or extravagant clothes are ways of calling attention to ourselves. They are distinguishing marks. “Pay attention to me. I can contribute to our survival.”

Communications

People want to be heard. They feel they have something important to say that would impact their wellbeing (selfish) and maybe the wellbeing of the community (selfless). I (me!) have a contribution to make!

It is not cognitive— it’s an emotional impulse. And I have a hunch that it is fundamental to all communications,

• Assume that people want to say something important, even if it doesn’t come out that way at first.
• Take into account that people may not have the skills to make it intelligible. But they can learn.
• Help them by asking questions.
• Don’t look for fault and don’t look to ridicule. Help them learn to say it in a way their community can understand.
• You are not their mother, or their sibling, but you are a member of their community.
• Lead with love.